" I think too deeply about everything. I still don't know if that allows me to see more of the world or less of it."
As the dawn sets , everyone went home some with happy faces , some with sad faces. i am still looking at my laptop with no hope in my eyes, no will in my soul.
feeling stuck in my own thoughts and the loop of life. as i collected myself together and tried to come out, i see humiliation, i see failure , i see self doubts, i see depression. and i am trying to fight these, to come out stronger but maybe not enough. so i am stucked there, feeling helpless, feeling miserable. i see no way out.
 do you wanna quit now? but there is no way out. what's holding you back? the failure, the humiliation or the expectations you had from you, your loved ones had from you.
so you swallow those failure , those humiliation because that's easy right? committing something to yourself, causing pain to yourself than causing your loved ones.
how many times you have done that? you don't know right? how would you, you have lost the count doing it numerous times.
how many times you have fooled yourself telling you must suffer to have great things, at the end all will be worth it. you don't remember this either right? okay for all these 22 years was it worth it in the end? was it worth the pain in the end? ummm yesss, you would say. and this feels exactly the same right? not exactly i mean, the pain is much much greater than you had ever, but you still hoping the results will be still the same, a grand reward for all the pain. making you believe its all good in the end.
 everyone says everything comes around at the end but mine seems to lost i don't know if it's haven't been started yet or does it got lost in my thoughts.